i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
