I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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