question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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