its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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