finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
