I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
