I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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