You just made me feel so damn special
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
