wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
