my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize