It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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