Yo dont text me then not text me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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