How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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