In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
