Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
