if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
