Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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