i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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