I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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