16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize