I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
