just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
