It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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