ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
