Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
