I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
