Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
