Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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