dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
