Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
