On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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