so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
