I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
