he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
