and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize