he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
