I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
