$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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