I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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