Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
