Do you still have your period?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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