Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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