god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
