so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
