Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
