Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
