Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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