he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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