We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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