I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
