I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
