it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
