the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i out mim tonsoeep
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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