just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
