You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
did you just send me my own nude
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
