Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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