Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
