When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
