what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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