I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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