Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
