chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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