she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
