hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
