guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
