I understand Curling. That high.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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