i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
did you just send me my own nude
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
