im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
