ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
