I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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