I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
