I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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