You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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