why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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