I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize