don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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