ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
