You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just fell off a train. Bad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
