I wannas sexs uuuuu
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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