i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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