he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Say something about gay babies.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
