Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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